Why I am like you think I am and, my multiple personalities
Wilfried Mbuto Majaliwa, this is my name. A striking name, at least that is how I feel about it.
Who knew that in 1994, on September 23, at approximately 0400hrs, in a small town in DRC, this awesome assembly of atoms would see first light?
I am almost 24, which is insanely young. Fast forward to 5 years from now and I’ll still be in my twenties. How awesome is that! Plenty of time to screw around and fuck some things up. But, anyway, who is Wilfried Mbuto Majaliwa?
Is he a scientist? A rebel? A lover? A loner? Is he anti-social? Is he what he thinks is his default state, a social butterfly?
Well, this is some of what I’ve come to know about myself.
From INTP to INFJ to INFP to ENFP. Four personalities so far.
I have tried to understand myself, more than you could possibly imagine. This led me to test my self over a span of about 13 months and as you can see, I am already four personalities deep. Always coming up with a fresh personality.
It could be a flaw, but I don’t think it is. I think this just proves something I have always believed about myself which is, I am extremely mutable.
Mutable in a sense that, I’ll still hold true my own core beliefs but still be open to change.
“Have strong convictions loosely held”
When I looked back to my childhood, I realized I was actually quite the extrovert. I am making 24 in a couple of days, which makes me think, that’s half of my life living as an extrovert and the other half as pretty much the Introvert most people have come to know me as.
I grew up in a very open, fun and dramatic space, with lots of people, most of whom I interacted with on a daily. I was friends with everyone that I came to be nicknamed as “Kavuluga” because I was always up in everyone’s business —space invader.
Up until 2007, that was pretty much it. That was me, the fun-loving, “scientist” always up in everybody’s space, —once tried to drown someone— social butterfly. Until everything changed
when the fire nation attacked… I went to boarding school. No, It cannot be
I think, when I trace back, It has to be the day I learned to masturbate. Like a slippery slope, thanks to puberty, I became what most people know me as today. Whatever that version of me is.
Some people think I am weird, crazy, charming, seductive, quiet, a loner, smart, witty, a mouthful —this is extremely rare— and just recently, I could argue that I am actually becoming more social but one thing is for certain, your weird is my normal. That is not changing.
That feels like quite the excerpt, so you can stop reading from here.
Okay, now onto the fun stuff.
I’ll start with my love for computers. As some of you may already know the story behind this requited love, I still think my father is the biggest reason as to why I love computers so much —and movies. Yeah, that is all him. Plus I like to believe I get my smarts from him and my empathy from my MOM 🙂
They are both extremely kind people, my parents. I learned to extend my hand and help whenever I can because I imitated them.
I learned to look for information because my father taught me how to use the dictionary, the computer and through all those research papers we perused through.
My best memories are:
Me hugging my MOM and promising to build her a big house. 🙂 I always smile when I talk about my MOM. She is something else. MOMS and their sons, nature is very wise. That is one special bond of creation.
Walking down Chez Johnson street so we could rent/buy movies with my Dad. He would always let me pick at least one VCD or Cassette.
The day I played my first computer game —Microsoft Motocross Madness
The day I got married at 6. So, when she comes filing divorce papers and takes away half of
my our stuff, please, this is a warning in advance.
I guess like I mention here, my love for reading stems from my curiosity and this unquenchable thirst for knowledge.
I remember reading fairy tales, kids stories, the Bible, I read my first erotic novel when I was 15 though. I read almost everything which is why I was so good at spelling things, I guess. So, of course, with such a background, you wouldn’t be so shocked If I told you English was always my best-performed subject. Hell, I even was the only distinction (D1) student in my class of 2007 —okay, enough bragging.
The greatest turn-around for me, as I have hinted earlier was when I learned to masturbate. That slowly crashed my self-esteem over the years which led me to detach myself from people. Now, couple that with porn and my introduction to the internet in 2007, you get a triple threat.
It is extremely hard to come back after that. It has taken me… wait, I’m checking my tracking app. It has been 133 days since I last actively sought out porn —actively meaning intentionally.
I have relapsed twice with my masturbation, not porn —still quite solid on that one. Okay, before we get any deeper, I’m not saying porn is bad for your health or that you should never masturbate albeit the NoFap community thinks otherwise about porn but not about masturbation. I am just telling my story.
And with that progress, I feel like I am resetting and defaulting. So when you think you “know” me, think again. Because, even now, I’m still sending out mixed signals because, well, I am still accepting who I am.
“Acceptance is the key to be truly free” —Katy Perry
So don’t expect so much. I have cried myself to sleep, I have won battles, I have peed my pants, I shit, just like you.
I am human and I am supposed to piss you off and make what may look like the greatest mistakes in history. I have loved, I
have slept with women much older than me have been heartbroken… But, I have not done it all and, although I crave to do everything, I have to accept that I might never do that.
Wait, have I talked about my love for astronomy?
Okay, so I am looking through my Dad’s stuff, —like most kids do, I presume— when I stumble upon this graphically interesting piece of paper that I had to unwrap and on it, a stunning image full of dots and clouds and this one huge spiral thingy that caught my eye.
I was looking at the milky way galaxy and just in the bottom right corner of this galaxy, a pointer that read, “We are here.”
“We are here!”, wait, what? How?
My mind was blown, I couldn’t put that piece down. I stared at it for as long as I could remember. Wondering how small we are and what else laid out there. Making it my mission to find out is, well, not what I set myself out to do but I was fascinated by the mere thought of us being there that I could not stop looking up, searching for answers like I have always done and always will.